Si lived 250 miles away in central London but we matched just before Christmas when he was visited his cousins within my maximum distance limit on Tinder. We had nice normal conversation – and by nice and normal I mean he didn’t start talking about shagging me. He was verified so we switched to WhatsApp and he did a video of his cousin’s swanky Airbnb apartment he was staying in.
That was pretty much it because he was going home the next day, but he said he’d get back in touch when he was back down. I didn’t expect to hear from him again, so did what I always do, and delete his number and forgot about him.
But then he actually did get in touch a couple of weeks later in the week between Christmas and new year and said he could swing by en route to his cousins. Reluctantly – in my experience 99 per cent of matches suggest coming over, rather than going on a date – I agreed, seeing as he lived so far away and would have had a long drive.
We walked down to the beach, I was impressed he was up for a mid-winter sea dip, but it was too rough so we came home. It was all very relaxed and easy, I made some dinner, Netflix on in the background.
He asked me if I gave massages, rubbing his shoulder which was stiff from the gym. Er..sure, I replied, wondering whether this was a ploy to get physical, and if it was, why he felt he couldn’t just be more transparent about it.
So, wanting to go somewhere “more comfortable”, he removed his top and lay down on my bed. I sat on his butt and rubbed his shoulders, and he asked me to go lower under his trouser line and work on his lower back.
I felt a bit bamboozled, to be quite honest, was this dude for real? But I genuinely had no intention of this turning into sex. I really wanted this to be a date and not about a ONS.
Then he turned round, slipped his trousers off (leaving his socks on), and asked me to work on his thighs, his hard on springing up in my face.
I laughed, to which he replied ‘it’s natural I can’t help it!’. The situation was funny, and I wasn’t intimidated. I felt a bit hoodwinked, but I let it happen so my bad? Then he told me to ‘come here’ for a kiss. Then, he asked me ‘do you want to suck it?’. And after that happened, ‘do you want to sit on it?’.
So, I did. May as well have. After our very mediocre sex, we carried on chatting, and a while later he left for his cousin’s place.
He followed up his visit with a couple of messages over the next couple of weeks and said he was due down again very soon. Then he asked me, ‘random question, have you had a threesome?’. And also, ‘do you like anal?’.
Despite the content of his messages, he was adamant he was into me and wanted to date me and made a concerted effort to keep in touch for a couple of months.
Next time he was down he asked me to drive the hour and stay with him at his hotel – it was fine that I couldn’t get there until 7pm! No offer of a drink let alone a bite to eat. Then got shitty with me when I said no.